For one thing, this year we reach a milestone in our lives—we will have lived as long married to each other, twenty-two years, as we did before marriage.
Surely that ought to justify some sort of sage advice from us.
As suggested a moment ago, I know that for some of you “rushing things” is not the problem. That’s six years of friendship before we were engaged.
For the group whose progress is being measured in glacial centimeters, forget this part of the message. Besides, when I first dated Jeff I couldn’t stand him.
There is no longer a life of fantasy or of make-believe; we must come out of the clouds and put our feet firmly on the earth. Jeff: But we don’t have everything worked out yet—like room temperatures. 103] Jeff: Your religion should protect you against immorality and violence and any number of other family tragedies which strike at marriages throughout the land. Your head can be held high even if your clothing is not the most stylish nor your home the most regal.
I used to joke about LDS scripturalists who worried about the body temperature of translated beings. And if you will let it, your religion will protect you against financial despair as well. No greater financial protection can be offered you. It can be held high for the simple reason that it is not bent or bowed with the relentless burden of debt.
For one thing, we are going to try to apply these little lessons we have learned to all of you—single or married. By the same token we also know that is easy to say and hard to do.
For another thing, we fear that too many of you, especially the women in our student body, are too anxious about the subject already. Jeff: On the other hand, I know a few men around here who ought to be a little more anxious than they are. It’s hard because so much of our young life in the Church is measured on a precise time sequence. At twelve the young men are ordained deacons and the young women enter Mutual.
Jeff: Before we leave this subject, let me add just one other related caution. It is that he walks everywhere in a hurry—first five, then ten, then fifty feet in front of me.
Jeff: So forgive us for using the only marriage we know, imperfect as it is, but for some time now we have wanted to reflect back on the half of our lives spent together since we were students at BYU and to see what, if anything, it might mean to you as you look ahead twenty-two years from now.
Pat: Before you get up and leave, let me again reassure you that this isn’t going to be the usual BYU talk on matrimony, important as that is. Or, to be slightly more scriptural, get “anxiously engaged.” Pat: For all of the rest of you out there, women and men, we really believe romance and marriage, if they are going to come, will come a lot more naturally if you worry about them a lot less.
I don’t joke anymore, because I now worry seriously about my wife’s body temperature. A prospective husband who is engaged to a sweetheart who has everything would do well to take yet another look and see if she has money management sense.[Marvin J. 72] Controlling your financial circumstances is another one of those “marriage skills”—and we put that in quotation marks—that obviously matters to everyone and matters longbefore entering into marriage. ; it has neither weddings nor births nor deaths; it has no love, no sympathy; it is as hard and soulless as a granite cliff. and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you. Then simply budget what is left the rest of that month. Pat: Well, that’s more than we intended to say about money, but we remember when we were your age. This last topic is the most difficult of all, and probably the most important. Much has been said to you during your dating years about the impropriety of intimacy before marriage.
She has an electric blanket on high for eleven months of the year. It matters while you’re here at the university and you should learn to use a budget right now—today—this moment. ; it buys no food; it wears no clothes; it is unhoused . Once in debt,[it] is your companion every minute of the day and night; you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; . We have spoken on that here in this setting in earlier speeches-dev.