He seemed intrigued and eager to learn more about my life, so I did much of the talking (and thanks to the sake, this unfortunately also led to over sharing, but that didn’t matter because hey, I wasn’t really on a date, right? I walked away from the evening believing he was sensitive, attentive and cared about my feelings.
Since he did not say much about himself that evening, I also left curious to learn more about him (and investigate why I had this little nagging voice, called intuition, telling me to run like hell from this man).
For me, I realized my own self-fulfilling narcissistic needs to be the grandiose caretaker created a platform to dive into the toxic pool of lies and pain that shadowed his world.
Since he wasn’tphysically, or even emotionally attractive, I have come to understand that I tolerated his repeated patterns of injustice because I had created an illusionary relationship and an idea of love for a man who, in reality, did not exist.
Having dealt with my fair share of men (and women) within our yoga community who disguise themselves under a thin veil of a seemingly “spiritual pursuit” to connect to their Hottest Self, I thought it best to remind her that she was currently outside of her mind if she thought I was about to start breaking my rules.
That first date led to our second date, then to the third, and then to an almost two-year long relationship.
I can’t say for certain why I decided to break my own rules, but I became intimately involved with one of my students.
That is, until I showed up at a well-known, overpriced, make-a-good-first-impression sushi restaurant and he was dressed to impress.
Realizing this, I calmed my nerves with a bottle of sake () while he shifted the intensity of his gorgeous blue eyes and focus of the conversation straight onto me.