I had this feeling as though you were 'using me', that you were just 'avoided answering my questions' that you were actually 'not a nice person and just as a**hole', that you had 'no interest in letting me into your life', that you were 'not in love with me, but just wanted the company'.
I'm writing this as someone who does not suffer from APD, but dated and loved (still love) someone with it. I fell in love with the way you would just listen to me, the way you would ask me lots of questions and want to know me.
There is much resistance in people to understand people with personality disorders.
Each time I hear them referring to a PD, it is always to shame people with PD or ridicule them.
If you're the man who I loved (still love) and showed me this forum before I decided to walk away from you and us without giving things a proper shot, I hope you can share this with the next person you fall in love with to help them understand you.
You deserve the best, and only the best will be willing to open their mind up and understand what it means to have APD before it's too late.