This year I came home four times from college and he was in town every single time.
After I went back to campus each time Mom said, ‘I never get to see you!
I can’t count how many times I have heard inside and outside of my private practice things like: “he was an angel until he moved in and then, became a tyrant, “ or “She gave me so much freedom to be myself until we got engaged and then, she wanted to know my whereabouts every hour of the day” or “He was great with my kids until we got married and then, he became jealous and envious to the point of hating them.”In summary, to ensure that you are not blinded by the uncontaminated fantasies about a potential partner which assume lives of their own early on in relationships when there is little history together, clear boundaries, and infrequent contacts, please consider the following recommendations before you make any commitments and go beyond the point of no return.1) It’s human nature to wish to possess that which holds the potential to satisfy powerful yearnings.
I urge all of you out there to consider staying out of bed as long as is possible and to do your best not to lavish your dates with expressions of infatuation which may be confused by both of you with expressions of love. The ocean may look very inviting however, if there is an undertow you simply must refrain from getting in to deep until it subsides.
3) To whatever degree is possible, keep your dating out of sight of your children.
They don’t need to become anxious over what will happen to them should you remarry when you are dating casually.
The faster we move the shorter they tend to be as human beings never measure up to our fantasies of them. The marathon doesn’t really begin until after the first half of the race is over and I contend that most relating doesn’t begin until the flames of infatuation cease to burn in an out of control fashion.
In fact many single parents who are gun shy after divorce go in one of two directions.
Tamara Hartley was once a single parent herself of four children and trying to balance her dating life with every other aspect in her life was a challenge, but she not only managed, but now is living in her happily ever after with her new husband.
To me, it's those success stories that really offer a great insight and inspiration for me and let's me know that not all hope is lost.
We don’t know someone intimately until we get a flavor of the ghosts of seasons past we will be dealing with from time to time.
I say this no matter how great is the chemistry and/or level of comfort between the two of you.